THE Z ROOM IS CANCELLD FOR AUGUST 29TH

DUE TO THE AFTER EFFECTS AND CLEAN UP FROM HURRICANE IRENE, THE Z ROOM WILL BE CANCELED FOR TONIGHT, MONDAY AUGUST 29TH.  WE WILL RESUME ON MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 12TH.

THANKS,

THE Z ROOM

THE RANT

REPUBLICANS

A JEWISH REPUBLICAN:     

RUSSIAN

A BLACK REPUBLICAN:    

CONFUSED

AN IRISH CATHOLIC REPUBLICAN:     

DRUNK WITH IMPAIRED VISION WHEN THEY CHECKED THE BOX

A GAY REPUBLICAN:

IN THE CLOSET(REALLY STRAIGHT)

AN ASIAN REPUBLICAN:

COMMUNIST

A MIDDLE CLASS REPUBLICAN:

STUPID

A HISPANIC REPUBLICAN:

JUST SILLY

A NATIVE AMERICAN REPUBLICAN:

DEAD

THE RANT

AMERICAN IGNORANCE AND THE RACIAL INSULT

BARAK OBAMA'S MIDDLE FINGER MOVE

SO I WAS RECENTLY CURSED OUT, DEGRADED AND AHH YES, INSULTED FOR SUBSCRIBING TO SOMEONE’S BLOG. PRETTY SILLY ONE WOULD THINK, AS IN THIS DAY AND AGE WE ARE ALL SUBSCRIBING TO A BLOG OR A WEBSITE TO MAKE IT EASIER. YOU DON’T HAVE TO REMEMBER THE URL, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BOOKMARK THE PAGE ON YOUR BROWSER, YOU GET NEW POST NOTIFICATIONS SENT TO YOUR PHONE, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…….

BUT THE BACK STORY AS STUPID AS IT IS AND THE PERVERBIAL INSULTS; I WAS CALLED A FAT BITCH (AS IF HAVEN’T NOTICED IN THE PAST 10 YEARS THAT I’M NOT SKINNY) WAS NOT AS INTRIGUING AS THE LACK OF CREATIVITY IN THE INSULT.  I BEGAN TO WONDER IF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS, ANTI BULLIING CAMPAIGNS AND PASSIVE AGGRESSIVENESS HAS GIVEN THE AMERICAN COMEDIAN LESS OF A PLATFORM TO BE ETHNICALLY ENTERTAINING.

REMEMBER THE PLAYGROUND ANTICS OF THE AVERAGE SCHOOL KID.  IN MY DAY AND AGE IT WAS CALLED “BREAKIN ON SOMEONE” FOR MY DAD, “PLAYING THE DOZENS; WHERE WE USED TO STAND AROUND AND WATCH 2 KIDS TALK ABOUT EACH OTHER LIKE DOGS. STAND ON THE PLAYGROUND, OR THE STREET CORNER, THE BASKETBALL COURT AND WATCH AN EXCHANGE OF INSULTS. MTV GAVE US “YO MOMMA” UNTIL WE GOT OLDER AND THE “DOZENS” BECAME GOSSIP.  WORK, LIFE AND CHILDREN CONVERTED US FROM SCHOOL YARD LANGUAGE HOLLIGANS, TO SECRET GOSSIPS WHERE WE COULD NO LONGER SPEW THE INSULT FACE TO FACE, AN OPPONENTS FEELINGS NEEDED TO BE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION AND THEREFORE THE INSULTS DISCLOSED ONLY TO YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS.

MICHAEL VICK'S DOUBLE DUTY

BUT DIG A LITTLE DEEPER AND SUDDENLY POLITICAL CORRECTNESS AND ETHNIC DIVERSITY KIND OF PLAY A ROLE IN THE CREATION OF THE PERFECT RACIAL INSULT. THE AMERICAN IDEA OF RACE WENT FROM 3 BASIC CATEGORIZATIONS TO SEVERAL “SUB-CATEGORIES” AND “NEW RACES” OF PEOPLE, PROBABLY TAKING IT LONGER TO DEVELOP THE PERFECT INSULT.  WE WENT FROM “NIGGER”, “CRACKER” AND “CHINK” TO WHOLE NEW DISTINCTIONS.  OF COURSE THERE WERE ALWAYS “SUB-CATEGORIES” FOR THE HISPANIC AND THE AMERICAN INDIAN BUT NOW IT’S OBVIOUS THAT GEOGRAPHY CAN PLAY A ROLE IN ANY INSULT, AND YOU HAVE TO THINK REALLY HARD AND LONG TO BE CREATIVE.

NOW MEN IN MY OPONION HAVE ALWAYS GONE THE REAL EASY ROUTE FOR AN INSULT.  THE QUICKEST AND MOST HURTFUL YOUR INSULT IS, THE FASTER THE FIGHT BEGINS.  BUT WOMEN, WOMEN I HAVE TO SAY, CAN BE FAR MORE CREATIVE IN THE INSULT, IF THEY ARE SMART ENOUGH TO THINK ABOUT IT. WHAT’S A STANDARD IS THE WORD “BITCH”.  WHATEVER THE INSULT, HOWEVER LONG IT IS, IT WILL ALWAYS END WITH THAT WORD. 

PICTURE THIS: 


WELCOME TO NEW YORK NIGHTLIFE.  A HAPPY FRIDAY NIGHT WITH YOUR FRIENDS IN THE HOTTEST CLUB, DANCING AND DRINKING.  IT’S TIME TO TAKE A BREAK FROM THE FUN AND MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE LADIES ROOM.  AN OVERCROWDED NIGHTMARE WITH THE SMALLEST SINK AREA AND ONE LONG MIRROR. IN YOUR WAY IS A MULTICULTURAL HODGEPODGE OF DRUNKEN BIMBOS SWEATY AND SWAYING TRYING TO MAINTAIN THEIR COMPOSURE WHILE REFRESHING THEIR MAKEUP. YOU ARE THERE TO DO THE SAME, WHEN SUDDENLY ANOTHER DRUNKEN BIMBO RUNS RIGHT INTO YOU WHILE EXITING THE BATHROOM STALL AND SPILLS YOUR PURSE ALL OVER THE FILTHY FLOOR. SHE STAGGERS AWAY WITHOUT SAYING EXCUSE ME.   FAITHFULLY THE INSULTS FLOW TO MIND, BUT IN THIS MELTING POT, WE HAVE TO BE A LITTLE MORE CREATIVE:


FOR THE SNOBBY INDAIN GRIL:
“YOU BRACELET WEARING, HENNA STAINED BITCH! HURRY UP AND GO BACK TO BOLLYWOOD AND GET YOUR MARRIAGE ARRANGED SO WE CAN HAVE MORE ROOM IN THE BATHROOM!”


FOR THE OVER FANCY, BADLY DRESSED CARIBBEAN GIRL:
“YOU SHACK SHAKING BITCH! YOU KNOW YOU ARE ONLY IN THIS COUNTRY BECAUSE YOUR HOUSE BLEW AWAY IN THE LAST HURRICANE!”

FOR THE VODKA SOAKED EASTERN EUROPEAN GIRL:
“YOU MAIL ORDER BRIDE BITCH! STOP TELLING PEOPLE YOU’RE A MODEL/ACTRESS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’RE A FULL TIME BISEXUAL PROSTITUTE!”

FOR THE DARK HAIRED PARISIAN FRENCH GIRL:
“YOU SILLY FRENCH BITCH! STOP TELLING PEOPLE YOU WERE BORN IN PARIS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WERE BORN IN LEBANON! YOU BETTER GO HOME BEFORE YOUR DADDY FINDS YOU AND HONOR KILLS YOU STUPID ASS!”

THE SEXIEST FUCK YOU EVER!

YES, AS VULGAR AND IGNORANT AS IT MAY SEEM, ONE HAS TO ADMIT THAT AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER WE HAVE BEEN ANGRY ENOUGH FOR THE OCCASIONAL RACIAL SLUR. DO WE CONDONE IT? WELL OF COURSE NOT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME IF WE DON’T LAUGH AT THE STEREOTYPES, IF WE KEEP THEM SILENT, WE WOULD NEVER KNOW THAT THEY WERE THERE.

©Darra “Like Dat” Boyd August 2011